Lessons from Hell

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. -Evan Esar

As all of you know who read this..(and according to my stat counter that is around 50 people.) you know that Tim and I made it through a very difficult 16 month's of unemployment . Managing to live without his 65,000 dollars a year was well-challenging. I am so proud that we managed to keep the house-making the payment maybe late but never behind! No bankruptcy! During this time period it also seemed that everything that could break did. Kaylee's car died, Tim's truck require a 800 dollar repair to fix an oil leak, the furnace died -need a huge $$ repair, the AC broke, the oven died, and then my favorite-the pool heater blowing up. If the darn pool would have ran without the heater that puppy would not have been fixed.

Along the with all the worry there were some precious moments of kindness. Tim's brother bought the kids 3 gifts each for Christmas last year. -so sweet and something they will always remember. A gift card came in the mail before Christmas for $25.00 for Timmy, no name given to thank. Just in time so we could buy him boots! People at work brought in coupons and we started a coupon drawer anyone could use-but I knew they did it for me! The Lutheran school allowed Timmy to attend for 100 dollars a month until Tim got a job, and Kaylee's employer at Family Fare gave her the employee discount card even though she was part time. There was also a dear friend who took a day off from work and treated me to a pedicure in February- a luxury of time and friendship. While some of you may feel that these were not huge $$ gifts-they meant so much. They wrapped us in love and care and provided for a very important ingredient-HOPE. There were also countless prayers we appreciated, and then finally the gift of a job for Tim.

I will admit I was one of those people when someone lost their job -I that felt that they could certainly find something quickly if they just looked. I also thought that people got themselves into financial problems by not planning or saving. I believed that employers would do the right thing and if they didn't and lied, the truth would come out. Wow, what a wake call-we became one of "those people". He looked and looked-even applied at gas stations. Nothing worked. See we had saved and had the money in liquid savings. We had a 401 K of investments. We were prepared. we would be fine. We had an employer who told Tim he would be laid off and we saved until they let him go 8 months later-and stood in amazement when they told the unemployment office they fired him-still believed when we appealed he would get the benefits we had both paid into all of our working lives- but no- the judge said he didn't know who to believe so he sided with the company because Mich needed it's employers. The weeks turned into months and then we even passed the year mark.

After the shock, came the denial, shame, and then depression. Every morning getting up praying Tim would get a job, the cars would run, and having to answer the question every single day from well meaning people-Does Tim have a job yet? And seeing the look in so many faces ---what is wrong with him. Other's would outright state, "Why is it taking him so long?" Then there are all those judgments made by people who have always had a job-it is apparently comforting to somehow blame the victim-that way the thought it might happen to them can be pushed back. I recently read a blog [post where a person actually said, why should her tax dollars be used to help out people like me - since after all she had never made a late payment. I get it-it's all about everyone feeling they need only to take care of themselves, and others should do the same. Personal responsibility-When it's not possible-well tough- it's not my fault nor my responsiblity. I will admit after reading the post I cried. I am one of those people. OMG I never wanted to be-but I am now one of the ones who failed-who weren;t responsible enough-didn't plan well enough-I am to blame-I am of course not worthy of any kind of assistance-that is left for corporation and people who make over 250,000 a year.

I now accept we are "one of those people!" I am even learning to embrace it. I believe as Jesus said-whatever you do to least of my brothers-that you do unto me. As a nation we seem to have no problem funding the wars, bailing out Wall Street, and the Auto Industry. But mention helping homeowners get their missed mortage payment added on to the end of their loan and allowing them to catch up-and it seems akin to treason. At the very least people scream we are going to become a socialist state. What would Jesus do?

As we finally find ourselves able to see hope and even after January begin to save again... I have learned.
1. We are the government..it's our tax dollars and we need to speak up-yell even -what we want our money spent on. I wrote a very long letter about IGA spending our bailout money on a celebration party!
2. Liberal is not a dirty word-it can mean open minded.
3. Politics are not as simple as right and left, blue verses red, Democrat verses Republican.
4. Most American's are Moderates like me and we really have no Political Party
5. People who say money doesn't solve problems-have lots of money and they intend on keeping it.
6. People who chose not to fund public education for the poor- do not see the relationship between poor schools and the growth in prison populations, where we now fund them the same child at 30,000 a year.
7. 401 k's for retirements are mistake-you can lose you butt- If market trends remain-it makes more sense to put money into a IRA.
8. If we believe in a right to life-it also means we have the responsibility of making it the right to a decent life.
9.There really are people who believe in a right to life and the death penality and see no contradiction there
10. Many who have not walked in your shoes will judge you-don'tallow them to make you feel ashamed. - There by the grace of God and the Global economy could be most any of us.

From now on when someone I know loses a job-I will not ask them how I can help-cause I know they will never ask. Instead-I will pay it forward and send them a gift card. I will not continue to ask i f they have a job yet-instead I will say call me when you get your new job so we can celebrate. I guess you could say I've become more open minded-okay go ahead and call me a liberal- What I really am is a working mom just trying to raise three kids and live out the values I believe in. Maybe not red-nor blue- Perhaps Purple?