By: Kelley DeBoer
If you read your news online, you know the comments below the article don’t take much to become mean spirited. Hiding behind a keyboard, camera or App somehow allows people to post things they would never say in person. This becomes a real issue when so many tweens and teens use social media sites such as Instagram, Titter, Whatsup, Vine, Wechat, Snapchat and many others, to post things in the spur of the moment not understanding the long term effects of the posts. Many reputations have been damaged and friendships lost over a post that was supposed to be funny. Years ago when you or I were angry we wrote a note, called or yelled at the person. The notes were thrown away, no record of the phone calls were kept, and we usually made up the next day. With social media this is no longer the case. Many posts take on a life of their own and travel to many, many different people. Tween and teens collect followers as a measure of their popularity and often add a friend of a friend of a friend-until it is really unclear who is actually seeing and learning so much about them. In addition the 700 “friends” that see an inappropriate post, can have an equal number of friends and the post can reach thousands within hours. A summer vacation picture on a beach in a swim suit can be zoomed in on, altered and send on to people you may not wish to view them.
Another factor on the rise is the “ selfee”- often silly self-portraits taken at arm's length with a mobile phone. Almost half of the photos on Instagram feeds among people aged 14 to 21 in the UK are e, according to MobileYouth.. Before you know it underage children have their pictures and profiles distributed widely which is a grave cause for concern.
What can we do? Keep connected with your child and don’t be afraid to disconnect them from the web when needed. Cell phones do not have to be attached to a child 24/7, and since the children are using the internet service you pay for, you have a right to know what information is being shared.
1.Keep a basket in the kitchen and have cell phones dropped into them when children are at home, and limit the time spent on them when they are at home.
2. Check you cell phone records each month so you know who he/she is texting.
3. Insist on your child giving you their user name and password for all social media sites they use. and make them add you to their friends list. (If you are uncomfortable with this have them choose a favorite aunt/uncle to be your eyes and hears)
4. Model good social media behavior yourself .
5. Read the terms of service agreements out loud so your child understands that anything posted on a social media site belongs to the site holder and even if they use privacy settings-info is really not private.
6. Explain to your child about cyber bullying and defamation of character.
7. Encourage your child to think before they post.
8. Encourage your child to come to you when they view anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.
9. Understand the kids have a real need to feel connect-so redirect them to connect in the manner Pope Francis suggested on World Youth Day: “Go and make disciples of all nations”. He went on to say Jesus’ message of love is not just for some, it is for everyone, and he urged the young people not to be afraid of bringing Christ into every area of life, to the fringes of society, even to those who seem most indifferent. Get them involved in a worthy cause-fighting cancer, feeding the homeless ect.
10. Remind your child that as a Catholics we live our faith by example, in both the real world and in the virtual world.
**Remember most tween/teens do not think what they are doing is wrong or bad-they have grown up with social media and see it has harmless play-until it affects them.
