tremors, and debilitating headaches.My Uncle Sam who is battling cancer was well enough to attend the Manning Family Christmas and I was able to hug him and tell him how much I loved him. I was also able to see my son Jamie who came home for California this summer for a visit. Timmy has recovered nicely from his school drama from last year, made honor roll, and is actually enjoying school. This past May I was able to take Timmy to Disney World and my cousin David and Marty joined us for some great fun.Manning family Christmas was a happy success. It is so wonderful to see my aunts, uncles, cousins, and second cousins. What is even more of a blessings is how so many make the effort to come. So my memory book and mementos include, pictures, notes, and yep---mouse ears. My sister in law continues to recover from her stomach surgery and we are overjoyed to be able to visit her on Christmas day in her own home and not at U of M medical. On the other hand it wouldn't be life if we were not faced with obstacles to overcome, and sadness to bear.I lost my dear cousin and friend Skip a few weeks ago. He was my buddy and conspirator in all the family history research. He died barely over the age of 60. I will remember him how I last saw him, as well as the young man who loved to surf, would throw me over his shoulder, and always seemed to have a "model" of a girlfriend hanging over him. He served as a medic during the Vietnam war taking care of the guys shipped stateside. He married the love of his life who already had 4 children who became his, and added a beloved daughter. He joins his wife Pat in heaven and leaves us with richer lives because of his presence.
Kaylee moved to New Jersey with a boyfriend and we do not hear much from her. She did send a note to Timmy on his birthday, but besides that she remains absent from our lives, but present in our prayers, My Aunt who turns 85 in January has had dizzy spells and I have spent a couple of days and one night over there recently to help out. She has always been so active, seeing her use a walker has taken some getting used to. But I treasure these days we get to spend together as I know that there are not as many ahead as there once were. We love to talk about our adventures together in the past, and dream of the things we could do if the right lottery ticket ever changed our lives . Her daughter Christine has been shuffling between my aunts home and her own. She is a jewel. I remember well the long years of taking care of my own mother, driving back from Detroit for a day or two, and then back to college, I used to joke I was raising my kids and my mother-now I treasure those days that at one time seemed so endless and trying.
The other day I found myself pondering about life, work, family friends and Christmas. I guess crossing 50 gives you a bit of perspective and an uncannily ability to look both back and forward. I find myself forgiving more easily, forgetting more often, and measuring my words more effectively. I now understand what my mother meant when she said, "Some day you will understand!"While neither my husband nor I remember what we "got" for Christmas last year-we do remember many things. We remember and recall the call from our son, Timmy sleeping in for the first time in all the Christmas's we remember. I recall with perfect clarity the look on my sons face when he spotted us at the airport. That look of joy and love inhabits a special place in my heart. I have to smile every time I recall Timmy cantering his horse around the ring with a smile that was half terror and half joy. When I recall handing out diplomas in May to my 8th grade homeroom, I still tear up a bit because I surprised myself with how close I felt to them all. So as I look back this holiday season, it is the memories of people and events-and not of things that have brought both joy and sadness. Ying and Yang.Now I love "stuff" as much as the next person-but the kind of things I love seem to have changed. My treasured possessions all have a memory attached to them. I treasure a ring my husband gave me on our 5th anniversary when he told me" I was the love of his life." I treasure a hand carved spinning wheel my uncle made for me that reminds me of the full size one I used to play with at his house. I have a emerald ring that My Aunt Geri had her father make for me. ( He was a jewelry and like another grandpa to me). I have an old weather predictor from my grandpa, a special pin from my aunt Jean, and hand made clay art from each of my children. My grandmother and I shared July birthdays so I was left her ruby ring. I have a dutch cupboard that was made for my mom and a lamp Tim's dad made for us. The retail value on all of this put together would likely be rather small-but to me they are the world. They represent my world, filled with family, and memories, and events.
All this brings me to the gift giving part of Christmas. In a year when gift cards seem to be the gift of choice, I just have to pause and wonder how many memories a gift card makes? I remember my Easy Bake oven and the hours of cooking with a little light bulb, as a kid. I remember getting the ugliest pare of slippers that ended up being the best foot warmers ever. My grandmother bought me a little plastic sewing machine that I used forever and whenever I use my real sewing machine now I remember her lessons on my little plastic one.
So Mom-I get it now...it really is the thought that counts. It's the time spent together, its the memories, and the momentous that remind us that we are blessed to have special people in our lives. Our lives our touched by those who love us. It is the joy we ourselves receive when every now and then a gift we might give-becomes a memento for another person. Not a gift card-but a thoughtful gift-the gift of ourselves,
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