Dog Rescue

So for the past 2 years I have been busy doing dog Rescue for Pet Tales Rescue

The following video shows the Dogs I have fostered this past year!

A Year of Changes

 This past year I had stomach surgery, took care of my brother who has cancer and embarked on a new healthier living routine.  Tim and I are still rambling around in the 5 bedroom home, now only occupied by just the three of us. I have to admit I still love to swim in the pool and canoe down the Thornapple River. It's like a vacation home and regular home all in one. After our youngest graduates in 2 years it might be time to downsize.

My niece Bri got married and I had a great time helping with the decorations for her wedding.

For now I am still teaching technology classes, exercising to lose more weight, and trying to find some joy in very act of living!

Social Media and the Culture of Mean

By: Kelley DeBoer

    If you read your news online, you know the comments below the article don’t take much to become mean spirited. Hiding behind a keyboard, camera or App somehow allows people to post things they would never say in person. This becomes a real issue when so many tweens and teens use social media sites such as Instagram,  Titter, Whatsup, Vine, Wechat, Snapchat and many others, to post things in the spur of the moment not understanding the long term effects of the posts.  Many reputations have been damaged and friendships lost over a post that was supposed to be funny.  Years ago when you or I were angry we wrote a note, called or yelled at the person. The notes were thrown away, no record of the phone calls were kept, and we usually made up the next day. With social media this is no longer the case.  Many posts take on a life of their own and travel to many, many different people. Tween and teens collect followers as a measure of their popularity and often add a friend of a friend of a friend-until it is really unclear who is actually seeing and learning so much about them.  In addition the 700 “friends” that see an inappropriate post, can have an equal number of friends and the post can reach thousands within hours. A summer vacation  picture on a beach in a swim suit can be zoomed in on, altered  and send on to people you may not wish to view them.

 Another factor on the rise is the “ selfee”- often silly self-portraits taken at arm's length with a mobile phone. Almost half of the photos on Instagram feeds among people aged 14 to 21 in the UK are e, according to MobileYouth.. Before you know it underage children have their pictures and profiles distributed widely which is a grave cause for concern.

What can we do?   Keep connected with your child and don’t be afraid to disconnect them from the web when needed. Cell phones do not have to be attached to a child 24/7, and since the children are using the internet service you pay for, you have a right to know what information is being shared.

 1.Keep a basket in the kitchen and  have cell phones dropped into them when children are at home, and limit the time spent on them when they are at home.

2. Check you cell phone records each month so you know who he/she is texting.

3. Insist on your child giving you their user name and password for all social media sites they use. and make them add you to their friends list.  (If you are uncomfortable with this have them choose a favorite aunt/uncle to be your eyes and hears)

4. Model good social media behavior yourself .

5. Read the terms of service agreements out loud so your child understands that anything posted on a social media site belongs to the site holder and even if they use privacy settings-info is really not private.

6. Explain to your child about cyber bullying and defamation of character.

7. Encourage your child to think before they post.

8. Encourage your child to come to you when they view anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.

9. Understand the kids have a real need to feel connect-so redirect them to connect in the manner Pope Francis suggested on World Youth Day: “Go and make disciples of all nations”. He went on to say Jesus’ message of love is not just for some, it is for everyone, and he urged the young people not to be afraid of bringing Christ into every area of life, to the fringes of society, even to those who seem most indifferent. Get them involved in a worthy cause-fighting cancer, feeding the homeless ect.

10. Remind your child that as a Catholics we live our faith by example, in both the real world and in the virtual world.

 

**Remember most tween/teens do not think what they are doing is wrong or bad-they have grown up with social media and see it has harmless play-until it affects them.  

Social Media and the Culture of Mean

If you read your news online, you know the comments below the article don’t take much to become mean spirited. Hiding behind a keyboard, camera or App somehow allows people to post things they would never say in person. This becomes a real issue when so many tweens and teens use social media sites such as Instagram,  Titter, Whatsup, Vine, Wechat, Snapchat and many others, to post things in the spur of the moment not understanding the long term effects of the posts.  Many reputations have been damaged and friendships lost over a post that was supposed to be funny.  Years ago when you or I were angry we wrote a note, called or yelled at the person. The notes were thrown away, no record of the phone calls were kept, and we usually made up the next day. With social media this is no longer the case.  Many posts take on a life of their own and travel to many, many different people. Tween and teens collect followers as a measure of their popularity and often add a friend of a friend of a friend-until it is really unclear who is actually seeing and learning so much about them.  In addition the 700 “friends” that see an inappropriate post, can have an equal number of friends and the post can reach thousands within hours. A summer vacation  picture on a beach in a swim suit can be zoomed in on, altered  and send on to people you may not wish to view them.

 Another factor on the rise is the “ selfee”- often silly self-portraits taken at arm's length with a mobile phone. Almost half of the photos on Instagram feeds among people aged 14 to 21 in the UK are e, according to MobileYouth.. Before you know it underage children have their pictures and profiles distributed widely which is a grave cause for concern.

What can we do?   Keep connected with your child and don’t be afraid to disconnect them from the web when needed. Cell phones do not have to be attached to a child 24/7, and since the children are using the internet service you pay for, you have a right to know what information is being shared.

 1.Keep a basket in the kitchen and  have cell phones dropped into them when children are at home, and limit the time spent on them when they are at home.

2, Check you cell phone records each month so you know who he/she is texting.

3. Insist on your child giving you their user name and password for all social media sites they use. and make them add you to their friends list.  (If you are uncomfortable with this have them choose a favorite aunt/uncle to be your eyes and hears)

4. Model good social media behavior yourself .

5. Read the terms of service agreements out loud so your child understands that anything posted on a social media site belongs to the site holder and even if they use privacy settings-info is really not private.

6. Explain to your child about cyber bullying and defamation of character.

7. Encourage your child to think before they post.

8. Encourage your child to come to you when they view anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.

9. Understand the kids have a real need to feel connect-so redirect them to connect in the manner Pope Francis suggested on World Youth Day: “Go and make disciples of all nations”. He went on to say Jesus’ message of love is not just for some, it is for everyone, and he urged the young people not to be afraid of bringing Christ into every area of life, to the fringes of society, even to those who seem most indifferent. Get them involved in a worthy cause-fighting cancer, feeding the homeless ect.

10. Remind your child that as a Catholics we live our faith by example, in both the real world and in the virtual world.

 

 

 

**Remember most tween/teens do not think what they are doing is wrong or bad-they have grown up with social media and see it has harmless play-until it affects them

Grandparents

I was so blessed to grow up with grandparents. I was made keenly aware of this fact because my own children were not so blessed. My mother died when Jamie was 10 and KayLee only 4. She never even knew Timmy. Tim's father lived in Alaska and died when I was pregnant for Timmy.. For 17 years we were not included in family gatherings with my husbands mother and siblings.  My kids had no grandparents to spoil them, cheer a little to loudly at Christmas programs, spend the night at their house, nor did they get to hear stories of the "olden days". They had no aunts or uncles who took interest in them. My siblings lived out of state, and Tim's brother's and sisters took no interest in our children. Yes I did try. I sent over clothes my children out grown to Tim's youngest sister, we tried setting up things with Tim's brother-but other than one time Timmy was invited out to fish-nada. This rejection had a greater impact on my children than either of us realized.

When you grow up knowing you are not the chosen grandchildren, it makes you question your own value. The few times my children were around their cousins they were keenly aware that they were not the favorites. Nothing was said-but when everyone else has Christmas gifts and you have none-you get the picture. The other lesson it taught my children is that when their is a disagreement-you don't work it out-you just cut those people out of your life. (For like 17 years)

 I am living with the results of those unintended lessons right now. My daughter is living in Montana and has not spoken to us since October. We did not approve of her living with someone without benefit of marriage, she had issues of being "yelled at" growing up and after a Psychology class, "learned" she was abused. Apparently getting yelled at to clean your room and do homework lowered her self esteem. Hurtful-heart wrenching. In my struggle to understand her behavior, counseling taught me that that actions of continued family rejection taught her that the acceptable way to deal with issues-was to avoid them. I pray some day she realizes how much we loved her and that we would have done anything to have given her loving grandparents, aunts, and uncles.  I yelled at her to clean her room out of pure frustration. She was loved, given ballet lessons, help in school, taken on trips, birthday parties, cars, college money.  She was loved and treasured. I pray someday she wil remember these things as well.